Movie

The VelociPastor 2

2026 · 87 min

A gleefully silly, gory B-movie romp that throws dinosaurs, slashers, and spies into a blender and dares you not to laugh.

Directed by: Jesse Gouldsbury
Genres: Action, Adventure, Comedy
Starring: Gregory James Cohan, Alyssa Kempinski, Frankie Kevich

Tagline: THE 1,000 VIRGIN SACRIFICE IS NEARLY COMPLETE... AND YOU COULD BE NEXT!
Overview: The perfect movie DOES exist! Doug and Carol travel to the port city of Milan, where they have to solve a series of murders committed by a masked slasher at an Italian Fertility Festival. And Soviet Spies. INTERPOL’s there, too.

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In the UKNo streaming, rental or purchase options known.

Directed by: Jesse Gouldsbury
Genres: Action, Adventure, Comedy
Starring: Gregory James Cohan, Alyssa Kempinski, Frankie Kevich

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How it feels

Written by AI. It can be wrong.

Tone: absurdstrength 3 of 3
campystrength 3 of 3
satiricalstrength 2 of 3
darkstrength 1 of 3
Pacing: brisk, 3 of 4, from slow-burn to relentless
Attention: easy-watch, 2 of 4, from background-friendly to demanding
Themes: violence
faith
mystery
survival
corruption
Places: big city
Era: contemporary
Audience: adult
Form: serialised
Content intensity: Gore strong
Language mild
Violence strong
Sex mild

All scales, 0 to 10

Scales, 0 to 10
Scale	Value	0 to 10
Action	6
Horror	5
Humour	9
Realism	1
Romance	2
Tension	3
Darkness	4
Complexity	2
Emotional weight	2

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Where to watch in the UK

No UK streaming, rental or purchase options are known.

Streaming data from JustWatch.TMDB

Details

Genres: action, adventure, comedy, horror
Directed by: Jesse Gouldsbury
Written by: Jesse Gouldsbury, Brendan Steere
Starring: Gregory James Cohan, Alyssa Kempinski, Frankie Kevich, John DiMino, Sajda Waite, Jon Collin Barclay, Lily Talevski, Shahaub Roudbari
Cinematography: Braith Miller
Runtime: 87 min
Country: United States of America
Languages: English

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The VelociPastor 2

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Where to watch in the UK

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