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Conrad & Crab – Idiotic Gems

2026 · 96 min

A shaggy, deadpan comedy where two hapless cops drift through a small-town gem fair, mining quiet absurdity from their bumbling investigation.

Directed by
Claude Schmitz
Genres
Comedy, Crime
Starring
Francis Soetens, Rodolphe Burger
Overview
Two less-than-splendid members of the judicial police of Perpignan arrive in the small town of Sainte-Marie-aux-Mines to watch over activities at the local gem market fair. In investigating a seemingly trivial matter, they stumble onto a potentially bigger criminal network.

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In the UKNo streaming, rental or purchase options known.
Directed by
Claude Schmitz
Genres
Comedy, Crime
Starring
Francis Soetens, Rodolphe Burger
In your watch list

How it feels

Written by AI. It can be wrong.

Tone
  • absurdstrength 2 of 3
  • satiricalstrength 2 of 3
  • cynicalstrength 2 of 3
  • lightstrength 1 of 3
Pacing
slow-burn, 1 of 4, from slow-burn to relentless
Attention
engaged, 3 of 4, from background-friendly to demanding
Themes
  • crime
  • deception
  • work
  • friendship
Places
  • small town
  • workplace
Era
contemporary
Audience
adult
Form
None
Content intensity
  • Gore none
  • Language mild
  • Violence mild
  • Sex mild
All scales, 0 to 10
Scales, 0 to 10
ScaleValue0 to 10
Action3
Horror1
Humour6
Realism6
Romance1
Tension4
Darkness4
Complexity5
Emotional weight3

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Where to watch in the UK

No UK streaming, rental or purchase options are known.

Streaming data from JustWatch.TMDB

Details

Genres
comedy, crime
Directed by
Claude Schmitz
Written by
Claude Schmitz
Starring
Francis Soetens, Rodolphe Burger
Music
Thomas Turine
Cinematography
Florian Berutti
Runtime
96 min
Country
Belgium, France
Languages
French

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